Hey guys, it’s Taunty V over at your favorite poker app GTO Lion! It’s been an amazing Fall here in beautiful Vilnius, Lithuania wherehas been absolutely CRUSHING! In addition to ALL the subs, solves and bots we’ve added this quarter, we’ve upgraded our processing power so you have the strat you need, right when you need it.
Yet that’s just my opening bid, because I’ll soon have an announcement on SOLVE EXPLANATIONS by our new AI bot, Equivocator!
Between you and me, feedback on Equivocator’s solve explanations in beta testing has been phenomenal! Just listen to Michigan poker pro and product tester Jason “Jambasket” Burge: “I like how Equivocator breaks down really advanced concepts and makes them simple so that I can understand.” Thanks Jason!
“Equivocator tells me things I thought I had forgotten but didn’t because I know the math, maybe better than anyone, better than anyone dead, living, or not living yet,” poker legend Phil Hellmuth told us. Thanks Phil!
So thrilling! Yet I’m here with even more good news! GTO Lion is proud to present:
The Non-Falsifiable Mind: A Cutting-Edge Retreat on Mental Game, Live Tells, and Entrepreneurship
I can’t tell you how excited I am for the Non-Falsifiable Mind!
The NFM Retreat is going to be truly special. Just check out our two lead speakers:
Living legend of performance coaching Salomon Roe, Mental Game Guru, Content Panderer, and renowned creator of the Massage Phil Ivey’s Head for Relaxation and Confidence App! Salomon has made millions helping athletes and entrepreneurs concentrate on their concentration.
The controversial genius entrepreneur artiste and poker player Philame Vibes, the third Moreno Twin, digital creator, pickleball lobbyist, NFT model, t-shirt merchant, Even More Effective Altruism advocate, collector of tournament toe rings, and designer/interpreter of the Caroline Ellison Fleshlight.
Wow. As if the hearing the wit and wisdom of these seminal minds is not enough, we are holding our first annual Non-Falsifiable Mind Retreat in Bitcoin City, El Salvador! Your spirit and mind will be elevated by the undiluted boldness of the world’s first crypto-powered, ecologically sustainable metropolis and coin-mining colony!
But there’s more, we have another lead speaker and it is… Equivocator itself! Yes, for the first time ever, a leading performance seminar will be led by AI! Equivocator in his short time on earth has absolutely mastered business vocabulary and will provide STUNNING insights into the Entrepreneurial Mind that you cannot afford to miss!
Yet, incredibly, that’s just the start. Wait until you see the incredible subjects Salomon, Philame, and Equivocator are going to take on! These are real Non-FalsifiAbles!
Here’s the skedge for the NFM Retreat so far:
1:00+ Warm up with Pickleball and Prawn Cocktails in Stade Bukele
5:30 Opening Ceremony, featuring parachute arrival and Prayer for Climate Change by Philame*
7:30 Dinner featuring same-day imported Mongolian Wagyu and Siberian Whiskey. In the Bukele Lounge.
8:30 Cardio Mental Beats led by Soloman’s assistant, featuring mid-sesh pep talk by Salomon in the Bukele Gym.
10:00 Mo Data, No Problems: Even More Effective Altruism for the Next, Next Generation presented by Philame, followed by Q & A. Includes a prawn cocktail buffet.
10:15 Casual Survivor Poker Tournament until the gorgeous sun peers over the Conchagua Volcano! In the Bukele Man Cave.
5:57 am Embrace the Dawn Yoga with Philame, nude or in all organic cottons, please. On Beach Bukele.
8:00 am Post-Somnolence Napping, a supervised experience with Salomon.
10:00 am Tells Seminar: Philame and her polycule talent manager Tether will act out the three B’s of poker tells: Baseline, Borderline, Benchmark. No cameras please.
11:00 am Pickup Basketball with Tauntvilas and (some of) the GTO Lion Crew on the Bukele Courts!
12:00 noon Indigenous Salvadoran Buffet featuring Tacos Gobernador, Tacos de Camarones, Camarones el mojo de ajo, with an Aquachile Prosecco toast to a planned digital statue of Nayib Bukele by Philame!
1:00 pm Entrepreneurial Encounter with Equivocator! Our sensational AI LLM will present himself as poker genius Phil Galfond to discuss running a business, writing effective newsletters and will take on all comers in debate! While an absolute legend of the cards, Meat Phil is too nice and too bumbling to spar with leading bigbrains like Dog Polk or Twitter user Bonerboy696969 in debate on important subjects. His Equivocator AI avatar, on the other hand, absolutely RAPES the competition with clever Both-Sidesisms and mops the floor with their now spinning and bewildered heads, all while behaving with Phil’s characteristic humility and goofy charm! What a combo of the human and the robot!
4 pm: Intentional Napping, supervised by Salomon in the Bukele Auditorium.
6 pm: Dinner and Presentation of the Gift Bags (includes items necessary for Sunday’s Yoga Session and other events, don’t miss yours.)
8 pm: Deepstack HORSE Tournament and Tells Marathon. Discussion after each hand!
12:00 am Ceviche and Tequila Prawn Shooters in the Bukele Lounge, available on each tourney break.
5:58 Dawn Deep Self Connection Meditation with Philame assisted by Tether: bring two D batteries.
6:05 Recovery Nap with Healing Hands and Guided Breathwork, supervised by Salomon
10:00 Decorating the Chinese Room, with Philame and Soloman! Our leads lecture on the lucrative convergence of AI, décor, and feeling your best under pressure. Join the first movers in this space! Bonus points for wearing your complementary NFT-themed kimono.
12:00 Noon Lunch Exploration, you’ll receive a COUPON VOUCHER to explore all the food options in BTC City! Some limitations apply.
3:00 pm Last minute addition to the lecture team! We have a tentative contract with Special Guest Philosopher Sergey Singer! One of the original EA advocates, our man Sergey will explain why he prefers to use AI images over the work of actual artists! “If you were drowning in a suit, would you hire an artist to depict it?” he famously queried. “No one has time for that poppycock! Also, artists are cunts.” A mind without parallel – at our disposal! (Espresso with dry aged prawn toast will be served for anyone who couldn’t find lunch.)
5:00 PM Equivocator will lead the group in a round of Massage Phil Ivey’s Head for Relaxation and Confidence!***
5:30 pm Closing Ceremony, features a “Remember the Bayesian Better Times” tribute montage to SBF, a “Pass the Conch” Twister-like body confidence development game demonstrated by Philame and Tether, as well as a multi-lingual good-bye blessing performance by Salomon and Equivocator. In the Bukele Auditorium.
I just have no words left. It’s going to be an unbelievable experience. So –
SAVE THE DATE: We don’t know the dates yet, as negotiations with BTC City contractors and plumbing teams are ongoing, but from that date to this date we’ll be gathering, collaborating, and growing.
WHO SHOULD ATTEND: The NFM Retreat is for aspiring thought leaders in the poker and entrepreneurial space, including media thoughtfluencers, vlogging space pioneers, crypto and AI optimists, and all others who want to build a legacy of generational entrepreneurial mental clarity wealth spaces.
To attend the inaugural Non-Falsifiable Mind Retreat costs 1 BTC**
Tips are encouraged for retreat staff and our catering partner, Namastication Off-Season Import/Export Sublicensing.
Space is currently limited to a number.
Transportation to and from BTC City is currently being created. Try a seaplane.
Now it’s come to my attention that some of you, including GTO Lion Staff, can’t afford to come, and are unhappy with the event or think participants should find a better use for their cash.
Really, it’s the opposite – if you have the money, not doing what you want to do is disoptimal! Live your life! And if you’re secretly mad and resentful at the silly things we do, hey, go out there and get rich and show us the way!
See you there!
Tauntvilas Europhunkis, for GTO Lion
*After the opening prayer, Philame will also unveil a 3D printing of her fabulous BreakFast Earth sculpture, featuring nude Henry Kissinger and Greta Thunberg holding hands while seated on top of the Conchagua Volcano and defecating into it together to symbolize the removal of toxins from the world through compromise.
**There is a limited inventory of this app, you may instead receive the free version of the app, Rub Matt Berkey’s Head for Overconfidence.
***Cancelations will be granted at 50% to reflect administration costs. All refunds will be returned in Lioncoin, our proprietary pre-minted currency. 20% of the refund total will be held for future EMEA projects, in keeping with our Values Statement here at GTO Lion.